It has been journey of a few months..starting from December 8th past year… Though this indeed is a short duration.. The changes that evolved in more not at all insignificant! Now I stand confused and desperate..
I feel drained out.. I haven’t been good enough.. Mind is constricted.. What that entertain others doesn’t entertain me now!
When I started this on a pleasant Tuesday morning, it was not a very serious affair… Didn’t give it much importance.. But as time progressed, I began to realise its influences upon me.. A new feeling.. There was many days when I slipped into a new world of thoughts…crazy thoughts being most of it.. Many things haunted me until I wrote the thoughts down..
Everywhere and in every person, I began to identify a story.. A message .. I learnt to hate none.. I realised the beauty of simple, humble dwelling.. I became a better person overall .. A number of values began to resolve in me.. For the first time probably, I became quite aggressive and a bit furious upon my thoughts and the values I believe… I began to value everyone and everything…starting from a tiny ant to high end personalities.. In me emerged a tendency to hate people’s views than them personally.. I started admiring the human mind, its responses and characters!!
At a point, I realised that I loved the negative shades of my characters as well.. Now I yearn to get them back.. As Mr Stevenson conveyed through Mr Hyde..
Let time prove it!!
I am completely blank now.. Nothing to say.. Nothing to speak.. All but some crap and lame jokes.. And now I myself feel that I shunned or controverted what I said.. I too became a hypocrite… Now, looking back I discern that I incorrectly noted a few things..
Firstly about LIFE – Rohith Vemula…
I still stick onto that what he committed was a fault.. But wasn’t his that decision the reason why I know, the world knows him….I am still confused on that particular matter.. He may have been successful if he had continued to live.. But there could be an other side too.. But this decision of his has brought a huge wave against such deterioration. Has this fault accelerated the force against many faults..
About the talk on discrimination and caste injustice.. Due to lack of time I integrated multiple facts and incidents which required individual consideration.. Hence it became quite uninteresting and weird..
I know that many of my other talks were repetitive and boring.. This is just what I know, I have.. I’ll try to improve it in case if I write again.. I couldn’t give atleast a glimpse of an impression on the movie ‘Rang de Basanti’.
I’m just understanding the mistakes I made.. May many many more add to this list. I’ll just be happy to do that
I don’t know if I made things quite dramatic.. This is me..My life… Just said what I felt.. But I just admire simplicity from the bottom of my heart….. At first I had decided to post a poem instead of this long, structure-less, boring script….. But later I was convinced that it was worthless as the main aim is to help others understand what others say.. While a poem will just make this task more complex…Still I wasn’t in a mood to write a better… Anyway….. Sorry for wasting your time………………………..
A BIG… HUGE… THANKS FOR ALL WELL-WISHERS!!