As I was just strolling around, I saw a tiny ant. It was black in colour. I knelt down and just kept my hand in front of it. It stopped for a while looked around then turned back and ran. I again blocked its path, still it found a way. Now I kept my hands around it. After a few seconds, I saw the ant coming out through a minute gap in between my fingers… As I chased it with my fingers, it increased its pace and ran away in dreadful panic…

I didn’t mean to hurt it or trouble it, I was just trying to understand something..LIFE..



Recently, I came to know the story of a few people, who are distinctly different, but are similar in the way they said Good Bye to this world… The fact is that they three had decided their own end… It was absolutely shocking to hear them.. I would say man has a lot to learn from these simple beings.. The ant when it was faced with a problem assessed the situation and found a solution to it. It never restrained itself or give up at any moment.. It manifested a will and a spirit for surveillance..  If the tiny creature as an ant presents such great qualities, why hasn’t the man still learned it? After all man is the only rational animal.. Still…why hasn’t he succeeded.. ??

Similarly, I always think about the Lizard.. Whenever it faces a danger, it tries to escape,  cuts its tail and gets away.. Later the tail develops and everything gets back to normal. Similarly a man during a difficult circumstance has to sacrifice many a thing and adjust to new ways,rejuvinates and get back among success again… Later, he may have to face difficulties again..


Of the three people I said, the first one is MR. ROHITH VEMULA…. His death was a strongly debated and fiercely discussed topic in India. (I would like to make it much political as I felt like those are already spoken, and even if I would, it would be mere repetition)

ca6e849abaac437b97df2657854ae172_6 (1).jpg

He was born to poor dalit family, as Rohith Chakravarti Vemula.. Only his name indicates that he is an emperor (Charkravarti means Emperor) but, his life was not a very pleasant one.. He struggled and strived hard.. This young man was fascinated to science and was a bright learner.. He was not at all involved in politics.. He finally secured admission  in University of Hyderbad.. But from then onwards a series of change was observed. He began to gradually shift his focus to other political & contemporary issues. This change can be clearly seen from his Facebook timeline.. At beginning it was all his posts were about science, music and jokes.. Gradually it drifted to political lines…Science and music began to decede from his timeline..Political jokes began to appear ignoring other simple humour…  He began to interfere in social issues and developed his own voice on different subjects. As he was a dalit, he was repressed and discriminated at many places..  Due to all these he sought to fight against this injustice.. But situations tent to oppose him.. He felt alienated.. And finally he succumbed to the situations and gave up.. I think these lines from his suicide note explains his mental agony very well

 Good morning,

I would not be around when you read this letter. Don’t get angry on me. I know some of you truly cared for me, loved me and treated me very well.

I have no complaints on anyone. It was always with myself I had problems. I feel a growing gap between my soul and my body. And I have become a monster. I always wanted to be a writer.

A writer of science, like Carl Sagan. At last, this is the only letter I am getting to write. I always wanted to be a writer. A writer of science, like Carl Sagan. I loved Science, Stars, Nature, but then I loved people without knowing that people have long since divorced from nature.

Our feelings are second handed. Our love is constructed. Our beliefs colored. Our originality valid through artificial art. It has become truly difficult to love without getting hurt. The value of a man was reduced to his immediate identity and nearest possibility. To a vote. To a number. To a thing. Never was a man treated as a mind. As a glorious thing made up of star dust. In every field, in studies, in streets, in politics, and in dying and living.

I am writing this kind of letter for the first time. My first time of a final letter. Forgive me if I fail to make sense.

My birth is my fatal accident.

I can never recover from my childhood loneliness. The unappreciated child from my past. May be I was wrong, all the while, in understanding world. In understanding love, pain, life, death. There was no urgency. But I always was rushing. Desperate to start a life. All the while, some people, for them, life itself is curse. My birth is my fatal accident. I can never recover from my childhood loneliness. The unappreciated child from my past. I am not hurt at this moment. I am not sad. I am just empty. Unconcerned about myself. That’s pathetic. And that’s why I am doing this. People may dub me as a coward. And selfish, or stupid once I am gone. I am not bothered about what I am called. I don’t believe in after-death stories, ghosts, or spirits.

If there is anything at all I believe, I believe that I can travel to the stars. And know about the other worlds. If you, who is reading this letter can do anything for me, I have to get 7 months of my fellowship, one lakh and seventy five thousand rupees. Please see to it that my family is paid that. I have to give some 40 thousand to Ramji. He never asked them back. But please pay that to him from that.

Let my funeral be silent and smooth. Behave like I just appeared and gone. Do not shed tears for me. Know that I am happy dead than being alive.

“From shadows to the stars.” Uma anna, sorry for using your room for this thing. To ASA family, sorry for disappointing all of you. You loved me very much. I wish all the very best for the future.

For one last time,

Jai Bheem

I forgot to write the formalities.

No one is responsible for my this act of killing myself.

No one has instigated me, whether by their acts or by their words to this act.

This is my decision and I am the only one responsible for this.

Do not trouble my friends and enemies on this after I am gone

He considers himself to be an ill fit in this society. The sentence ‘My birth is my fatal accident’  is haunting.  He felt like, he shouldn’t have been born, or perform the way he did..He felt like he was correcting the 26 year old mistake, but he was actually committing a gross mistake..  But here we can see that he lacked someone to give him proper mental support. He also had expressed that he had no regrets against anyone.. He curses himself for his birth and for the drift towards politics..  He never wished to live more in this world.. He then, hasn’t actually opened his eyes widely.. Though, he was fascinated about stars, nature etc., he didn’t wish to see it again… His eyes was blurred by the repressions he had faced..

As,  Little drops of water makes the mighty ocean, even his minimal works would have added up to make a great fight against injustice..  He lost a great opportunity..opportunity to live..  There was still much more to observe and understand..

Well, there is no use saying that he should have done a particular thing or he shouldn’t have done it…

But I cannot consider it as his fate.. I felt like, he had a lot more to converse, execute and achieve.. But he lost some where in a battle with his mind!!


fan.jpg The ceiling fan on which he hanged himself!



Now the second person..

I don’t have the liberty to speak much about him.. He was a well educated man and a middle aged man.. He committed this, due to his family problems.. Here is his last line..

See you in next life, I promise I will be a better man

A big irony can be visualised here.. Both of them thought that they were not suited here.. He had a conception that he wasn’t good. He felt that there was no solution to his problems. He was born in an economically settled family..


Now finally the third,

The person is a relative of one of my friends. The man was in a stage of depression and helplessness.He was bankrupt and was in absolute financial crisis. The circumstances made him an alcoholic too..  My friend claimed that, it was the alcohol in him, which made him to end his life in metre long rope, else he would never have done this. Recently his son told me jokingly a fact.. ‘ Though we don’t have enough money to prepare other recipes, we have rice all along the month. Due to pension, we get the money for subsistence.I’m trying to secure a job in my father’s company’


I still can’t realise the reason why man ends his life.

Is it fear?..Is it a fear to face problems…??

I believe a person who has the courage to die will surely have the courage to live..

Ultimate disaster a man has to face when he faces an issue is death.. Then why should he invite it himself..


Life always offers a hope.. A hope to succeed.. And we humans, do not have right to  destroy life, as we haven’t created it..

One should never succumb to pressures or crises.

After all, I  feel that problems and crisis are the basis of human life.. Humans are ever in a run to solve problems and some to create problems… One’s trouble might be an others solution..And this is not permanent.. It solutions and troubles keeps on changing.. For eg: if an employee gets quite a good sum of money it might be a botheration for his employer, but this could find the employee the solution to many problems.. Some may fail in this process, but their lives will teach others some valuable lessons…

All people goes through a session of battle with oneself and his own mind… These are people who failed to their own mind.. This story shouldn’t be repeated through an other person in an other place.. One mustn’t allow to!!


All these three people failed to realise this.. They lacked a pivotal quality – HOPE.. They were not optimistic or pragmatic…  They just assumed that their life is going to be worse than ever..  All of them were narrow minded..And the biggest mistake the third person committed was his decision to take up alcohol and not the decision to die.. He may not have mindfully meant it, but the drug made him do it without any inhibition.. He forgot about his son, wife and deserted them at a very crucial situation.. Disintegrading oneselves’ body and mind is almost equal to a suicide.. They failed to recognize the beauty of life…There are people who still live happily who aren’t properly gifted by God.. They may not be talented.. When God gifts one a talent or ability, he must make it count, or atleast don’t destroy it.. They failed to ken the beauty of life.. Look upon the sky, you can see the twinkling multitude of tiny stars.. The smiling moon as pleasant as a mother.. The Sun.. Look upon the ground.. The plants.. The animals.. Even a tiny ant has a story to teach us.. The whole universe is book and each part of it has many lessons to enlighten us..  Problems are part of life, life itself has solutions to it.. But its our duty to find it!!

I don’t mean that one must ignore the negative influxes and activities in the society.. It is the duty of a civilian to work for it. But one mustn’t forget himself and the world in the struggle..  Believe in HOPE!!

I don’t think there is much a need of any extra texts.. This video would do it!!







2 thoughts on “LIFE !”

  1. Good in parts! But some parts seem incomplete and out of place. Message is not given convincing or confidently. Better next time or take a while more thinking before you write.

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